So apparently, after years of sitting inert, one of my old April Fool’s Day posts is suddenly getting heavy traffic because a commentator on a skeptical website is apparently citing it as serious evidence in favour of quantum immortality. This being the post, need I remind you, in which I claim to be secretly four hundred and twenty-seven years old, incapable of dying, and Virginia Woolf’s inspiration for Orlando: A Biography.
Well, let me clear the air for any new visitors: this post was an April Fool’s Day joke, and I’m afraid, only particularly funny to people who actually know me in person. I am a legitimate theoretical physicist, with a Master’s Degree and everything, but I don’t really believe in quantum immortality beyond the extent to which I believe that it could be a good plot device in a science fiction story. My genuine opinions on quantum theory can be found here and here.
So no; I am, to the best of my knowledge, not 400 years old because of a quirk of one interpretation of quantum mechanics; and you should be glad that I’m not, because it would mean that the universe would be my personal solipsistic fantasy and you would all be the supporting characters.
Besides of which, it’s a well-known fact that the real reason that I’m secretly 400 years old is because I’m a vampire.