I must reacquaint myself with silence
Now that I can’t depend
Upon the noisome, anti-tranquil violence
Of you, my dearest friend.
And in those years of sheer frustration
When your din brought such vexation
Never once did I imagine I’d be sad to hear its end.
I was but a ghost on the day we met,
A shell or something less;
A shadow of one who could not be, yet
But you saw me and set to freeing
My poor, unliving, malformed being,
Broke in my dungeon, found me sleeping and roused me with a kiss.
But this is the hour of my departure
Though love I do not spurn
I know not when or indeed whether
I ever shall return.
But your gem of generosity,
The life that you bequeathed to me
The truth of my identity, I vow never to unlearn.
[This is probably single most emotive poem I have ever written. My ex-girlfriend-cum-friend Nominatissima is finally moving out today, and I will soon be going to Europe with no real notion of when or if I will come back to this part of the country; we had both long ago accepted that our relationship was fundamentally untenable, but even so, this is hard for me. It is difficult to express the sheer extent to which I was withdrawn from society prior to meeting her. She made me feel like a person, and helped me understand who and what I really was, and for that I will always love her.]