The One Where I Talk About Boobs (The Didactic Express, Day 23)

So it turns out that I have breasts now. No doubt this is something that everyone just simply needs to know about.

They’re not big ones, mind you; indeed they’re quite tiny by the standards of such things (just slightly larger than a normal pair of ‘moobs’ would be on a male of my size). However, I have been consuming female hormones for more than three months now*, and such changes in body chemistry are inevitably going to affect my phenotype. They’re there; they’re firm; they’re…uncomfortably sensitive, actually.

I’m kind of insufferably proud of them, to be absolutely honest. This, of course, is a hold-over from puberty. I can still remember that day when I was twelve years old and going swimming with my classmates; I remember noticing that every single girl in the class had, by that point, at least started to develop, whereas there I was, rapidly being swept off in the absolute wrong direction. It feels absolutely heavenly to finally have the chance to fix this oversight.

On the other hand, though, I’m feeling kind of worried. My breasts are now large enough as to be noticeable (albeit only barely) even when I am not wearing a bra (something which I have been doing for several months longer than I have actually had any need to do so), and this is jeopardizing my ability to present as male when I need to. I have thus far been simply hiding the with jackets, but perhaps a sportsbra is in order?

Moreover, I am a person who enjoys going for a swim every now and again. I’m not precisely sure how I’m going to be able to swing this. I mean, yes, I should get a proper bathing suit anyways, but where am I supposed to put…other bits…while I am wearing it?
And how am I going to manage to get changed?

Finally, I can’t imagine that my parents (who are only just coming to terms with all this) are going to be particularly thrilled when they inevitably notice these new developments. I realize, of course, that this is their problem, but I really wish that I could go back to being on normal terms with them.

So today’s moral lesson is:

Even blessings can have uncomfortable consequences.

*I just got back on them last Friday.


About thevenerablecorvex

I have the heart of a poet, the brain of a theoretical physicist, and the wingspan of an albatross. I am also notable for my humility.
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3 Responses to The One Where I Talk About Boobs (The Didactic Express, Day 23)

  1. Leah Jane says:

    Wear a tankini/rash guard with board shorts as the “bottom” half to fix the bathing suit problem. đŸ™‚

  2. Lindsay says:

    Yeah, I was just thinking they make things *like* swim trunks for women — either board shorts or, sometimes, actual trunks (I have a pair* as part of a tankini set). I seem to remember reading that you hate swim trunks, though.

    *TMI alert: I have extensive and very dark hair coverage at the tops of my thighs, which I prefer not to bother removing. This is why I preferentially opt for swimsuits that cover a lot of the thigh.

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