Could This Possibly Be Authentic?

This Comedy Central video has been making the rounds amongst my friends. The woman it depicts is, ostensibly, a Republican party strategist by the name of Noelle Nikpour. Now, I have very little faith in the basic scientific literacy of members of the Republican party (as I have noted before, it seems virtually impossible in this day and age to attain any standing in that party whatsoever without first of all rejecting the whole of modern science), but even so: I don’t see how it’s possible for any human being to be so gleefully and self-righteously idiotic.

(TW for unnecessary rape joke, nad-crushing stupidity)

Highlights (?) include:

  • Nikpour: “Scientists are scamming the American people right and left for their own financual (sic) gain…I think any American, if they really thought about it, would have a gut feeling that some of these numbers that the scientists are putting out are not right.”


  • Nikpour: “Scientists are the only people qualified to comment on scientific theories. This is what raises doubt with not only Republicans, but Americans!”
  • Reporter: “It’s like: why are surgeons the only ones allowed to perform surgeries and other surgeons are the only ones allowed to say whether or not this surgery is necessary or not, right?”
  • Nikpour: “Absolutely!”
  • Reporter: “It doesn’t make any sense!”
  • Nikpour: “It never makes any sense.”
  • Nikpour: “It’s very confusing for a child to be only taught evolution to go home to a household where there parents say, well, wait a minute, God created the Earth.”
  • Reporter: “What’s the point of teaching children facts if it’s just going to confuse them?”
  • Nikpour: “It confuses the children when they go home! We as Americans, we are paying tax dollars for our children to be educated…we need to offer them every theory that’s out there; it’s all about choice; it’s all about freedom!”
  • Reporter: “I mean, it should be up to the American people to decide what’s true!”
  • Nikpour: “Absolutely! Doesn’t it make common sense?”


Now, of course, my friends have been playing this for laughs, but the fact remains that every single thing that Nikpour has said in this interview  has been, whether implicitly or explicitly, in keeping withthe positions of various Republican presidential candidates. You must admit that it is quite shocking to see them stated so boldly (and so vapidly). And if this, indeed, is the official position of a major political party in the world’s most powerful country, then frankly, I think that it’s time that I picked-up Mandarin or Portuguese, because I suspect that it’s all over but the music for the United States.


About thevenerablecorvex

I have the heart of a poet, the brain of a theoretical physicist, and the wingspan of an albatross. I am also notable for my humility.
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