Stephen Harper Wants A Cookie

So if you have been following Canadian politics over the last six years or so (and if you have been doing so with more than sixty percent of your brain actually functioning), it will likely come as a great shock to you to discover that according to the Indentured Media, our Beloved Leader is actually a tremendous ally of the LGBT cause.

Yes, to cite the journalist Hopper, it seems that the Tories are secretly “warriors” for LGBT rights, inspite of their noble efforts being maligned and slandered by the left. How so, you ask?

Although Mr. Harper has resolutely vowed never to touch same-sex marriage, it was only 2005 when, as opposition leader, he told an Ottawa rally, “when elected Prime Minister … I will bring in legislation that will define marriage as the union of one man and one woman.” That same year, in a lengthy parliamentary speech Jason Kenney called marriage a “tautologically a heterosexual institution.”

And when did he vow “never to touch same-sex marriage?” Here’s a refresher: it was only after he lost a parliamentary vote to ban it. A ban of which 111 of 124 Conservative MPs (including Harper himself) were in favour. But since that loss, he hasn’t tried to deliberately rip-apart other people’s marriages, so apparently he now feels that he deserves a cookie. Well, for that and for being willing to protest “draconian punishment and unspeakable violence” committed against Gay people abroad, which I admit is better than the alternative, but sounds an awful lot like the absolute bare minimum standard to be considered a decent human being.

But it’s not just teh Gayz: Mr. Harper is a friend to all our struggling rainbow communities! As Mr. Hopper points out:

In June, members of the Tory caucus even came to the rescue of a transgendered rights bill put forward by NDP MP Randall Garrison. Promising to protect transgender people under the Canadian Human Rights Act and make anti-transgender violence a hate crime, the bill passed second reading thanks to the support of 15 Conservative MPs, including Jim Flaherty and Lisa Raitt.

Wow! Did you hear that? Fifteen whole members of the Tory Caucus think that I’m entitled to basic Human rights! Sweet! How many people are there in the Tory Caucus again? Oh yes…one hundred and sixty-six. This means, of course that 91% of elected Tory MPs (including, once again, our Dear Leader) think that I’m a subhuman vermin who doesn’t deserve a job or a roof over my head, but all that’s just a trivial detail! Just like the fact (which the author somehow neglected to mention) that Stephen Harper actually ordered his majority in the Senate to vote-down a similar bill in 2011 in response to fundamentalist slander that transsexual people are tautologically rapists.

I just feel so loved.

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About thevenerablecorvex

I have the heart of a poet, the brain of a theoretical physicist, and the wingspan of an albatross. I am also notable for my humility.
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One Response to Stephen Harper Wants A Cookie

  1. “How many people are there in the Tory Caucus again? Oh yes…one hundred and sixty-six. This means, of course that 91% of elected Tory MPs (including, once again, our Dear Leader) think that I’m a subhuman vermin who doesn’t deserve a job or a roof over my head, but all that’s just a trivial detail”

    – What a disgrace. And this, in Canada!

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