I honestly don’t know how people like Batman and Spider-Man can do it; I begin to question whether it is even possible to get away with a secret identity.
Take myself, for example. I thought that I was being so very clever; living as a woman, meeting with my thesis supervisor as a man. But the sad fact of the matter is that sooner or later, I was going to make a mistake. It is, literally, the same principle as cancer; it is a statistical inevitability that a some point when undergoing mitosis, one of cells in your body is bound to acquire a transcription error, which will cause the whole thing to start reproducing itself out of control. Likewise, when performing any activity by rote, it is a certainty that sooner or later, some error will occur, and all of the best-laid schemes of mice and (wo)men will go a-gley.
This is what happened today. Possibly.
You see, I finally managed to wrap-up the draft version of my thesis to my personal standards this evening. In triumph and relief, I saved a copy of the PDF and e-mailed it to my supervisor.
Unfortunately, I forgot to change the byline on the title page before I sent it off. As such, my supervisor recieved a thesis from Jamelyn* Patricia rather than James Patrick. Now, as soon as I realized my error, I quickly updated my thesis and fired off a second e-mail, disavowing the original (telling him I’d attached the wrong file) and that he should disregard it.
With any luck, he hasn’t opened the PDF yet, so this won’t be an issue. But even still, how could I have been so foolish?
A pox upon all of this. I wish I could just be honest with him; but I honestly have no idea how he would react. Indeed, he is completely and singularly inscrutable to me, and this is quite disorienting because I’m usually pretty good at taking readings of other people’s characters; I have absolutely no idea what kind of a man he is, and so I simply cannot afford to take the chance.
Today’s moral lesson is:
When something is important, do it conscientiously; do not trust to rote behaviour.
*I’ve resolved upon Jamelyn as my full form name; it retains both the dignity of “James” and the “Jaime” diminuitive.