Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live (On The Government’s Dime)

Summer is drawing to a close, students are returning to their classes, bloggers are coming off of their vacations and Parliamentarians are returning from their prolonged summer barbecue circuits. Of course, you know what this means: it’s time for me to start getting really angry over the way that Stephen (Fucking) Harper and his gang of boot-licking peons are ruining the country again.

When it comes to getting angry at Harperites, few people are more helpful than the moustachio’d, babysitter-banging guardian of public morality himself: Vic Toews.

Not content merely to turn Canada into a police state to stop child predators terrorists anyone who opposes the Conservative Party, the illustrious Mr. Toews has turned his withering gaze upon a new clear and present danger to the Canadian way of life:


Yes, it seems that, much as the Tories like to talk about ‘religious freedom‘ they’re not so crazy about freedom for religions that they don’t personally like. Hence, Mr. Toews has now intervened to block the hiring of Wiccan prison chaplain. Said Mr. Toews’s office:

…the government isn’t convinced that paying the salary of a witchcraft practitioner is an appropriate use of taxpayer dollars.

Oh yes; witchcraft. Magic(k). The invocation of otherworldly entities to interfere in the natural course of the world.

Clearly something the government shouldn’t be supporting.

I therefore look forward to hearing about how the government is going to fire all Catholic prison chaplains. I mean: what could be more sinister than a man in a black robe calling upon a powerful supernatural being to transform bread into human flesh and wine into BLOOD.
While we’re at it, we need to fire all of the Protestant chaplains too; afterall, they routinely invoke an otherworldly entity to bring about involuntary “spiritual transformations” in other people: sounds an awful lot like demonic mind-control to me! We can probably bust the Muslims, Hindus, Mormons, Jews and Sikhs while we’re at it.

Now, of course, I know very little about the Wiccan religion, but from what I do know, it doesn’t sound any sillier or more threatening than any other religion. But even if it did, people still have a right in this country to worship as they choose–and I sure as hell wouldn’t trust Vic Toews or anyone else in the government to pick and choose what religions are ‘legitimate.’


About thevenerablecorvex

I have the heart of a poet, the brain of a theoretical physicist, and the wingspan of an albatross. I am also notable for my humility.
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4 Responses to Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live (On The Government’s Dime)

  1. Lindsay says:

    That sucks! I’m pretty sure we have Wiccan (and other pagan) chaplains in *OUR* prisons …

  2. Pingback: The Theocratic Ministrations of Stephen Fucking Harper, or: First They Came For The Wiccans | voxcorvegis

  3. Pingback: Don’t Let the Door Hit You in the Ass, Vic. | voxcorvegis

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