Good lord, has it already been a month since I came out? Time flies when you are having either fun or an existential crisis, it would seem. I would describe the past month as being a combination of the two. I remain enthusiastic about the prospect of living as a woman, but at the same time, I am apprehensive, as I honestly never thought that I would get the chance. I am now facing a future which is different from the one which I have always assumed that I would have. For me, it is the difference between being an active participant in my own life and spending the next eighty years sleepwalking into the grave, but I nevertheless still find myself bewildered to think that it is actually happening to me.
In practical terms, surprisingly little has changed. My friends have all accepted the change in my status with minimal fuss, and have never once slipped-up on the use of my name or pronouns. The only sore point was from one minor acquaintance that I knew in high school, whom I never particularly liked anyway. My relationship with my parents is somewhat more strained that I am accustomed to (I grow tired of having to explain my decision to them), but I anticipate that they will come around sooner or later.
One thing that has done alot to relieve me is the support of my female friends in particular. My number one worry going in to this was that other women would be unwilling to accept me as one of their own (my therapist informed me that this is a leading cause of post-transition depression). Among my own friends, at least, this is apparently not an issue; indeed, my informal polling suggested that many, if not most of them were not completely surprised by my transition*, and by-and-large, they seem happy to have me “on their team,” so to speak.
I do wish, though, that I had more female friends in the city where I presently reside. As you know, I recently moved here for grad school in physics, and as it happens, physics is one of the very few disciplines left in academics in which women are chronically underrepresented. Though this may sound a bit silly, I would like very much to have some “girl time” at some point. Understand, I tend to think, in general, that the differences between genders are rather overblown, and I don’t think that in practice, the company of women is altogether that different from the company of men. Nevertheless, the idea of being a woman amongst women is something I would like to experience.
*My male friends were more-or-less completely blindsided.