Enough With the Damn Zombies Already

Okay, we get it: everybody loves Zombies. Everybody loves Zombies because everyone (i) retains a morbid fascination with death and decay, likely left over from the very first time we found out that we were going to die; (ii) is, at some level, afraid of other people and thinks of them as a mindless herd of hostile attackers, and (iii) secretly sort of wishes that they could, on occasion, just go around shooting people without having to worry about any sort of moral rammifications.

But do you know what?

I’m sick of Romero zombies; I’m sick of O’Bannon zombies; I’m sick of fast zombies, slow zombies, zombies created by magic, plague, or weapons of mass destruction; I’m sick of zombies inserted into 19th-century literature, zombies as social commentary, zombies as enemies in video games, Marvel zombies, zombie survival guides, numerical modelling of the zombie apocalypse, and deconstructive parodies of the zombie genre.

I am, in short, sick of zombies, and I don’t think I’m the only one. I mean, quite frankly, how many times can you watch slight variations on the exact same premise play-out on screen over and over again? Is there anyone who is still honestly afraid of zombies? Fact of the matter is, if there actually was a zombie outbreak at this point in history, it wouldn’t go anywhere because everyone knows how to kill them.

So yes. I’m feeling fairly strongly in favour of a twenty year moratorium on zombies in all media.


About thevenerablecorvex

I have the heart of a poet, the brain of a theoretical physicist, and the wingspan of an albatross. I am also notable for my humility.
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4 Responses to Enough With the Damn Zombies Already

  1. Hear, hear, Sure, zombies were fun at first but it has really gotten too much. I’d definitely sign a petition for the moratorium on zombies if I knew where to address it. đŸ™‚

  2. They have become a cliche. They’ve been used too much in too many different places. I’m ready for a good old fashioned blob monster or something. Oh, and the same can be said about vampires. They have been done to death! I am sick of blood suckers.

    • I was going to mention Vampires, but that’s a whole other post. Vampires get to suffer the twin indignities, first of all, being massively overused, and secondly of seemingly increasing in suckiness (pun intended) with each successive iteration. If you trace their fictional lineage down from old folktales to the present day, you will notice that they just keep getting more Human-like, more sexualized, and less frightening. I mean, I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but really the only reason the vampires were scary on that show was because they were basically serial killers with superpowers.
      Some kind of all-new monster that nobody’s ever seen before would be absolutely grand.

  3. Pingback: Get Some Results And Then Maybe We’ll Talk « voxcorvegis

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