Okay, we get it: everybody loves Zombies. Everybody loves Zombies because everyone (i) retains a morbid fascination with death and decay, likely left over from the very first time we found out that we were going to die; (ii) is, at some level, afraid of other people and thinks of them as a mindless herd of hostile attackers, and (iii) secretly sort of wishes that they could, on occasion, just go around shooting people without having to worry about any sort of moral rammifications.
But do you know what?
I’m sick of Romero zombies; I’m sick of O’Bannon zombies; I’m sick of fast zombies, slow zombies, zombies created by magic, plague, or weapons of mass destruction; I’m sick of zombies inserted into 19th-century literature, zombies as social commentary, zombies as enemies in video games, Marvel zombies, zombie survival guides, numerical modelling of the zombie apocalypse, and deconstructive parodies of the zombie genre.
I am, in short, sick of zombies, and I don’t think I’m the only one. I mean, quite frankly, how many times can you watch slight variations on the exact same premise play-out on screen over and over again? Is there anyone who is still honestly afraid of zombies? Fact of the matter is, if there actually was a zombie outbreak at this point in history, it wouldn’t go anywhere because everyone knows how to kill them.
So yes. I’m feeling fairly strongly in favour of a twenty year moratorium on zombies in all media.